Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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