I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
