I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
