the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
