I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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