It's Friday. Sex?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
