how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
