So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
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You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She has the best kind of daddy issues