Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome