Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite

(650): View more from California

Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good

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(650): Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite (650): Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good http://tfl.nu/6hx1

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(361): View more from Texas

What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?

(1-361): View more from Texas

These are the tickets we got last night.

(361): View more from Texas

Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?

(1-361): View more from Texas

Yes...yes you did.

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(361): What are these yellow papers in the kitchen? (1-361): These are the tickets we got last night. (361): Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear? (1-361): Yes...yes you did. http://tfl.nu/myva

Replies (25) Good night (4179) Bad night (523)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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(404): Mmmm, vodka for breakfast http://tfl.nu/n4af

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(303): View more from Colorado

If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

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(303): If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed. http://tfl.nu/n5xo

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(443): View more from Maryland

My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden

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(443): My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden http://tfl.nu/by6o

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(804): View more from Virginia

just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.

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(804): just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it. http://tfl.nu/xnwu

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(304): View more from West Virginia

what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?

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(304): what's not responsible about a pool full of beer? http://tfl.nu/7inf

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(707): View more from California

I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"

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(707): I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition" http://tfl.nu/pg7b

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(415): View more from California

dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint

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(415): dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint http://tfl.nu/6bee

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(979): View more from Texas

Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.

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(979): Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/s5ox

Replies (14) Good night (2146) Bad night (579)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?

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(901): I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter? http://tfl.nu/wyo3

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

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(402): I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me. http://tfl.nu/r02t

Replies (5) Good night (1571) Bad night (326)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on

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(508): he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on http://tfl.nu/t183

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.

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(832): And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking. http://tfl.nu/dun3

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.

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(412): I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit. http://tfl.nu/xhsp

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