He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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