Already got asked if we're dating
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president