An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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