is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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