Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
