ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
