I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
