I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
