As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
