I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
