There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
