belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
