just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
