He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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