Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
