Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
