just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
