Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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