That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
