Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
