You can't motorboat a personality
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
