Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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