We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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