wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
