so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
