You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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