Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
