they need to just BURY HIM!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
