Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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