I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
