I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
