and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
