Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
