Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
