I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
