you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
