would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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