i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
