get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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