did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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