I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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