Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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