i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
is that a dick in a sweater?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
