Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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