i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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