3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
