Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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