I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
