and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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