i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
