If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
