He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
