My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize