Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
