3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
