Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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