there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
