I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
