You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
