A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize