I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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