i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
organizing the empties. That sober.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
