Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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